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The Redneck Thread.

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fishhuntcutwood

Guest
Pics, stories, jokes, whatever.

I'll start it off.

Redneck tank top. :lol:
 
T

top hopper

Guest
Im sure it was posted here, probably where I got it....
 
T

The Branch Doctor

Guest
:lol: :lol:

I've been accused of being a redneck once or twice.
 
F

flyboy

Guest
I could go on with redneck stories all night being from South Carolina.My wife is more redneck than I am,though I ended up in the ER with a major concussion once and the last thing I remember was saying "hey ya'll watch this!"
 
R

Rotax Robert

Guest
Brand new 2007 edition of... "You know you're a redneck when...."

1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.

2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.

3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.

5. You think "The Nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive.

6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.

7.You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.

8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.

9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.

10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

12. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.

13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.

14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.

15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.

16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.

17. You have a rag for a gas cap.

18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

19. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.

20.. You can spit without opening your mouth.

21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.

22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.

24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.

25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.

26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.

27. A tornado! hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.

28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.

29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.

30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.
 
F

fishhuntcutwood

Guest
It's funny Rotax, that some people think you're exaggerating. There's houses in my hometown that to this day don't have running water. And that's no joke! It's not for poverty, they just don't think they need it.
 

stehansen

Climbing Up
Joined
Aug 25, 2005
Messages
9,187
Location
Ceres, CA
We had one bathroom in our house torn apart for a re-model and while doing that project they drilled through the shower pan for the upstairs bathroom and as the floor and most of the walls were tile they had to redo all of the tile. We parked our travel trailer in the driveway for a bathroom and I got the redneck jokes like "what's the first thing Hansen does when he has to go to the bathroom? He puts on his coat of course.
 
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Mike Maas

Guest
I was at this guys farm house one time, and in the kitchen they had several fly traps, the ones that you hang and pull down to expose a sticky surfce. Anyway, every trap had every possible exposed surfce covered by a fly, and in some spots it looked like they were two or three deep.
Even as full as they were they didn't take them down, like they were some kind of redneck decoration.
Not really a joke, but I'll never forget that.
 
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fishhuntcutwood

Guest
Not a decoration Mike, but rather, they'll go four deep, so those hanging traps still had their money's worth to earn!
 
R

Rotax Robert

Guest
damn staight they do, and when they finaly do get full they make one heck of a soup base.
 
F

Frans

Guest
You ever watch "Survivor Man?"

Ha.
Have you noticed that even the 'experts' on Survivorman go without food for days on end?

The one lesson I took away with me from watching that show was that you MUST start eating right away.
If you wait until you are so hungry that that disgusting bug looks appetizing, you will be too weak to survive another day.


So, if you are ever in a remote area and your plane crashes, start eating your dead fellow passengers right away. :P Yumm!
 
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