The Egg


Administrator Emeritus
Mar 6, 2005
The Egg
By: Andy Weir

You were on your way home when you died.
It was a car accident. Nothing particularly remarkable, but fatal nonetheless. You left behind a wife and two children. It was a painless death. The EMTs tried their best to save you, but to no avail. Your body was so utterly shattered you were better off, trust me.
And thats when you met me.
What? what happened?? You asked. ?Where am I?
You died, I said, matter-of-factly. No point in mincing words.
There was a a truck and it was skidding
Yup, I said.
I I died?
Yup. But dont feel bad about it. Everyone dies, I said.
You looked around. There was nothingness. Just you and me. What is this place? You asked. Is this the afterlife?
More or less, I said.
Are you god? You asked.
Yup, I replied. Im God.

My kids? my wife,? you said.
What about them??
Will they be all right??
That's what I like to see, I said. You just died and your main concern is for your family. Thats good stuff right there.?
You looked at me with fascination. To you, I didnt look like God. I just looked like some man. Or possibly a woman. Some vague authority figure, maybe. More of a grammar school teacher than the almighty.
Dont worry, I said. Theyll be fine. Your kids will remember you as perfect in every way. They didnt have time to grow contempt for you. Your wife will cry on the outside, but will be secretly relieved. To be fair, your marriage was falling apart. If its any consolation, shell feel very guilty for feeling relieved.?
Oh, you said. So what happens now? Do I go to heaven or hell or something??
Neither, I said. You?ll be reincarnated.?
Ah, you said. So the Hindus were right
All religions are right in their own way,? I said. Walk with me.
You followed along as we strode through the void. ?Where are we going?
Nowhere in particular, I said. Its just nice to walk while we talk.
So what?s the point, then? You asked. When I get reborn, Ill just be a blank slate, right? A baby. So all my experiences and everything I did in this life wont matter?
Not so! I said. You have within you all the knowledge and experiences of all your past lives. You just dont remember them right now.
I stopped walking and took you by the shoulders. Your soul is more magnificent, beautiful, and gigantic than you can possibly imagine. A human mind can only contain a tiny fraction of what you are. Its like sticking your finger in a glass of water to see if its hot or cold. You put a tiny part of yourself into the vessel, and when you bring it back out, you?ve gained all the experiences it had.
Youve been in a human for the last 48 years, so you havent stretched out yet and felt the rest of your immense consciousness. If we hung out here for long enough, you?d start remembering everything. But theres no point to doing that between each life.
How many times have I been reincarnated, then?
Oh lots. Lots and lots. An in to lots of different lives. I said. This time around, youll be a Chinese peasant girl in 540 AD.?
Wait, what?? You stammered. ?You?re sending me back in time??
Well, I guess technically. Time, as you know it, only exists in your universe. Things are different where I come from.
Where you come from?? You said.
Oh sure,? I explained I come from somewhere. Somewhere else. And there are others like me. I know youll want to know what its like there, but honestly you wouldnt understand.?
Oh, you said, a little let down. But wait. If I get reincarnated to other places in time, I could have interacted with myself at some point.
Sure. Happens all the time. And with both lives only aware of their own lifespan you dont even know its happening.
So whats the point of it all?
Seriously? I asked. Seriously? Youre asking me for the meaning of life? Isnt that a little stereotypical?
Well its a reasonable question,
you persisted.
I looked you in the eye. The meaning of life, the reason I made this whole universe, is for you to mature.?
You mean mankind? You want us to mature??
No, just you. I made this whole universe for you. With each new life you grow and mature and become a larger and greater intellect.
Just me? What about everyone else??
There is no one else,? I said. In this universe, theres just you and me.
You stared blankly at me. But all the people on earth?
All you. Different incarnations of you.
Wait. Im everyone!
Now youre getting it, I said, with a congratulatory slap on the back.
Im every human being who ever lived?
Or who will ever live, yes.
Im Abraham Lincoln?
And youre John Wilkes Booth, too, I added.
Im Hitler? You said, appalled.
And youre the millions he killed.
Im Jesus?
And you?re everyone who followed him.
You fell silent.
Every time you victimized someone, I said, you were victimizing yourself. Every act of kindness youve done, youve done to yourself. Every happy and sad moment ever experienced by any human was, or will be, experienced by you.
You thought for a long time.
Why? You asked me. Why do all this?
Because someday, you will become like me. Because thats what you are. Youre one of my kind. Youre my child.
Whoa, you said, incredulous. You mean Im a god?
No. Not yet. Youre a fetus. Youre still growing. Once youve lived every human life throughout all time, you will have grown enough to be born.
So the whole universe, you said, its just...
An egg. I answered. Now its time for you to move on to your next life.
And I sent you on your way.



Nov 3, 2007
Charlottesville VA
Elon Musk believes it is more likely than not that we are living a virtual reality. The more they discover about physics the more they realize that everything is definable with fomulas, kinda like a program???


Woods walker
Mar 7, 2005
Western Oregon
I'm not gonna scratch. That road leads to craziness.

Had a beautiful hike today in the mountains a short ways from my home, on a beautiful day, with my beautiful friend for life.

That is enough.


Monkey for Hire
Apr 22, 2008
Nesoddtangen, Norway.
Sounds great Burnham. The simple things are often the best. Beautiful day here, kids are playing Nintendo for an hour or so whilst I do important shit like checking up on the treehouse. The missus is working so me and the king de are gonna pack some sausages and marshmallow and go for a hike in the woods and make a fire, cook snags and mmallows.

As I said the simple things.

As for 'the egg', trying to work that sort of stuff out, can drive one to insanity. I am daft enough so will just leave that thought there.