The Joke/Funny Pic/Video Thread
- Thread starter Thor's Hammer
- Start date
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SeanKroll
Treehouser
The disclaimer should say, this is a great way to die and endanger anyone trying to save you, for a View.
Burnham
Woods walker
Exactly. That's a close look at a death wish.
🤷♂️ 
SeanKroll
Treehouser
I think proper prep means dry suit-clad trained rescuers at a start.
I'm not one for cold water. I'm poorly insulated and shiver surprisingly easily.
Idk if hypothermia makes a person more cold-sensitive or not. I've had mild hypothermia digging a snow cave in 15⁰ F weather on Mount Rainier.
I'm not one for cold water. I'm poorly insulated and shiver surprisingly easily.
Idk if hypothermia makes a person more cold-sensitive or not. I've had mild hypothermia digging a snow cave in 15⁰ F weather on Mount Rainier.
Kaveman
Treehouser
Dumb way to die, but it looks like a fun way to live. Just sayin.
Burnham
Woods walker
If you say so...
pigwot
RuMi's, Juni's, Lowen’s, and Inge’s Gpa! (#5 soon)
Kaveman
Treehouser
Mick!
TreeHouser
flushcut
TreeHouser
I woke up this morning and looked in the mirror and said “I look like Ted Kazinski”. Still too cold for a haircut.
IDK
Kaveman
Treehouser
Blood Ravens chapter of the Adeptas Astartes. Known for stealing all that which is not nailed down, and bringing crow bars to ensure they take the nails as well. Warhammer 40k lore
pigwot
RuMi's, Juni's, Lowen’s, and Inge’s Gpa! (#5 soon)
Darwin Award Winners:
# 1 I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology
at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset
because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her
that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her
daughter into the hospital. She calmed down, and at the end of the
conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison
to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her
daughter into the Emergency room right away.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
# 2 Seems that a year ago, some Boeing employees on the airfield
decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in
getting it out of the plane and home. When they took it for a float on the
river, a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them surprised them. It
turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon
which activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at
Boeing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
# 3 A true story out of San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a
downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote "this iz a
stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to
give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him
write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller
window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells
Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells
Fargo teller. He read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he
wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not
accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit
slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip
or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said "OK"
and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line
back at Bank of America.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
# 4 A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that
measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received
in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he
sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he
received a letter from the police that contained another picture, this time
of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
# 5 Guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded
all the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag,
the robber saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the
shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but he refused and
said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21." The robber said he was,
but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he didn't believe
him. At this point the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet
and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over, and agreed that the man
was in fact over 21 and he put the scotch in the bag. The robber then ran
from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and
gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They
arrested the robber two hours later.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
# 6 A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving
revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved,
the startled first bandit shot him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
# 7 Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He
decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window,
grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over
his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be
thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. Seems the liquor store window
was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
# 8 Ann Arbor: The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man
walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50 am flashed a gun
and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't
open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion
rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man,
frustrated, walked away.
# 1 I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology
at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset
because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her
that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her
daughter into the hospital. She calmed down, and at the end of the
conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison
to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her
daughter into the Emergency room right away.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
# 2 Seems that a year ago, some Boeing employees on the airfield
decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in
getting it out of the plane and home. When they took it for a float on the
river, a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them surprised them. It
turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon
which activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at
Boeing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
# 3 A true story out of San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a
downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote "this iz a
stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to
give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him
write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller
window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells
Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells
Fargo teller. He read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he
wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not
accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit
slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip
or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said "OK"
and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line
back at Bank of America.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
# 4 A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that
measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received
in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he
sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he
received a letter from the police that contained another picture, this time
of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
# 5 Guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded
all the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag,
the robber saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the
shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but he refused and
said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21." The robber said he was,
but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he didn't believe
him. At this point the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet
and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over, and agreed that the man
was in fact over 21 and he put the scotch in the bag. The robber then ran
from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and
gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They
arrested the robber two hours later.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
# 6 A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving
revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved,
the startled first bandit shot him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
# 7 Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He
decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window,
grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over
his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be
thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. Seems the liquor store window
was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
# 8 Ann Arbor: The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man
walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50 am flashed a gun
and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't
open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion
rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man,
frustrated, walked away.
Burnham
Woods walker
Amazing.
