The Joke/Funny Pic/Video Thread

Please be careful, because people are going crazy from being in lockdown!

Actually I've just been talking about this with the microwave and toaster while drinking coffee and we all agreed that things are getting bad.

I didn't mention anything to the washing machine as she puts a different spin on everything.

Certainly not to the fridge as he is acting cold and distant.

In the end the iron straightened me out as she said everything will be fine, no situation is too pressing.

The vacuum was very unsympathetic... told me to just suck it up, but the fan was more optimistic and hoped it would all soon blow over!

The toilet looked a bit flushed when I asked its opinion and didn’t say anything but the door knob told me to get a grip.🤐

The front door said I was unhinged and so the curtains told me to ........yes.....pull myself together”
 
An 80yr old couple go to the doctors for a routine check up.
The doctor comes back with the results and says "Physically you are both fit as fiddles for your age. However mentally you are both beginning to lose it a bit. My suggestion for now is write things down when you think of them, that way you can keep on top of your to-do's".

So they go home, relatively happy. As they are relaxing in the living room watching TV, the man gets up and walks towards the kitchen. He turns to his wife and asks "Would you like anything from the kitchen dear".

She replies "Oo yes please, can I have some ice cream?"

"Sure thing" says the husband.

"Dont you think you should follow the doctors advice and write it down?" Asks the wife.

"Nah I'll remember it honey" he says.

"But I'd like strawberries with it too"

"Okay" he says "but I don't need to write it down, I'll remember it"

The wife says "but I'd also like whipped cream with it too".

"Yep, not a problem" he says.

"Are you sure you don't want to write this down?" She asks, concerned.

"I'll remember it all, don't you worry" he replies and goes into the kitchen.

He's in the kitchen for a good 20 minutes and just as the wife starts to wonder what hes doing, he comes through the door with a plate of sausages, bacon and eggs.

She looks at the plate with a mixture of confusion and annoyance. She then looks at him, frowns and says "where's my toast?"
 
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