The Tree House loves TreeStuff!

Customers say the darnest things!

okietreedude

Treehouser
Joined
Jan 1, 2008
Messages
412
Location
enid, ok
We were taking out a poplar the other day and I had my rookie climber in the tree while I was being the groundie. He was only about 25-30' up (short tree to start) when the tenent showed up for lunch break or something. He walks around the side of the house to where I was standing and sees the guy in the tree. Instantly he starts "No F'n way! No Fn way! He's fn nuts!:O You'd have to be Fn nuts to do that! No way would i do it...no fn way!"

All I could do was laugh and point out that the climber wasnt even that high off the ground.

What are some of the funny things youve heard?
 
J

JonnyHart

Guest
As I was pole pruning a crabapple, a neighbor says " hey are you cutting that tree down? " I told him " that's like shaving your head with scissors! "

And when people ask if they can have some firewood from a job, you gotta say " Whatta ya think firewood just grows on trees?! "
 

squisher

THE CALM ONE!!!!
Joined
Sep 25, 2006
Messages
23,802
Location
Vernon, B.C.
Ha I find it funny how people always exagerrate heights, I mean it's good for all of us but it never ceases to amaze me everytime somebody calls me about their 200ft pine tree. Even a local landscraping company that I sub for, their guys are like wow man you were like 60-70' up there and it's only a 30-40' tree. Like I say makes us look like real badasses. I've given up trying to convince people I just agree yup that's way, way up there.:D

The customers that boil my blood are the ones that throw out the, 'well that was pretty easy' after it's done. Oh yah, well why didn't ya do it yourself then?
 
J

JamesTX

Guest
The customers that boil my blood are the ones that throw out the, 'well that was pretty easy' after it's done. Oh yah, well why didn't ya do it yourself then?
I'll say that, but it's in a - "Man, you make something that I could never do look easy" - sort of way. Don't take it the wrong way.
 

cybergeek23851

I like cats...
Joined
Mar 6, 2005
Messages
1,472
Location
Cedar Rapids, IA
Hmmm the best so far to date-


Rude Lady: Are you working on that machine( The lane is coned off, and the machine is opened up so I can work on it.)
Me- Yes ma'am. I apologize, but I am working on it as fast as I can.
RL- Well how much D@mn longer are you f'!ng gonna be?
Me- Hopefully no more than an hour
RL- That f'ing machine is an f'ing piece of f'ing crap. Ya'll are the worst fawkers on the planet for fixing that f'ing piece of cr@p. Do you know where there's another f'ing machine at?
Me- I'm just here doing my job ma'am. The branch is open upstairs if you'd like to try there.
RL- walks away screaming obscenities that would make a sailor blush, while stomping angrily up the ramp to the branch.
 
B

Blinky

Guest
My son got pretty pissed when he was working the ground and a bystander asked him if he was a tree killer in training. He set'em straight, "My dad's an arborist and I'm a groundie."
 

Stumper

Treehouser
Joined
Mar 6, 2005
Messages
3,392
Location
Colorado
Jason. Next time tell her that the printer is broken and it can't make any cash.
 

Old Monkey

Treehouser
Joined
Mar 9, 2005
Messages
8,764
We were working in a tree in front of the Santa Rosa Library while it was closed for Presidents day and had to keep telling patrons that the library was closed. One young fellow upon hearing the reason it was closed said defiantly, "F'ING CLINTON, I DIDN"T EVEN VOTE FOR HIM!"

Another favorite was while cutting trees down at a grammar school so they could build a new multipurpose room. A cute little girl cam up to my tree and asked in her sweetest Cindy Lou Who voice, "Are you going to cut down all our trees?"


Another good one was a little kid two houses over calling over to me, "What are you cutting that tree down with?"
"Its called a chainsaw."
"My dad has a chainsaw.....its bigger than yours is."
"Oh yeah, my dad's dead," I wanted to reply to mess with the little fellow. Unfortunately I didn't say that.

Finally, back in California I got loads and loads of "TREE KILLER!" I love that one.
 

Old Monkey

Treehouser
Joined
Mar 9, 2005
Messages
8,764
I had a customer who when he came home was overjoyed at all the shrub pruning we did.

"Its as if the 'Shrub Fairy' came by while I was gone!"

Too bad I have all of my business cards printed out or I'd change my company name to The Shrub Fairy or perhaps The Shrub Faerie, to mess with all the Steve Hansen's of this world.
 

squisher

THE CALM ONE!!!!
Joined
Sep 25, 2006
Messages
23,802
Location
Vernon, B.C.
Gee I always thought 'Tree Killer' was a compliment, guess I'm reading all the situations wrong.:D
 

No_Bivy

Treehouser
Joined
Sep 2, 2006
Messages
5,999
Nope.....it's purple..So far I'm the only "gay" friendly tree service:\:
I was gonna have the slogan " a straight tree guy for the queer eye" but I chickened out............8)
 

lumberjack

Young man on the go
Joined
Mar 6, 2005
Messages
8,931
Location
Mississippi
"Carl, I don't see how you doooo dat." Old lady who had just parked her car under a 1500lb nuget of wood we had just rigged from the back side of the tree. After the pucker stopped, she asked "Oh, is my car in the way?"

Today, after blowing a 45' top between a house and some high voltage wires, the neighbor tooled around the house and said, "Huh, this aint your first rodeo is it?"

Several years ago, just dropped a top into a front yard, I'm sitting on a limb beside the cut. A neighbor comes up and says, "Wow, didja just cut that piece from up there?" I replied, "Naw, just jumped up here for the hell of it."


"It'll cost you $1200 bucks for me to remove that tree." "Oh, hmmm, that's a bit more than I was expecting, how long do you suppose it will take?" "It's hard to put a firm number on it, but I'd figure on us being outta here in under two hours." "Two hours! My god!" "Well sir, the crane company will be here tomorrow and the least they are going to charge is $1800." "*sigh* Alright, you can do it." Dude left a broken pine roughly 100' tall hanging over his neighbors house for a week. I was the last service he called, and the first that said it wouldn't be a problem to remove sans a crane. The crane company was going to be out the next morning with a 100 ton, to try and figure it out. Ended up taking 1:54 hours, including the time spent making the video.
 

No_Bivy

Treehouser
Joined
Sep 2, 2006
Messages
5,999
"Carl, I don't see how you doooo dat." Old lady who had just parked her car under a 1500lb nuget of wood we had just rigged from the back side of the tree. After the pucker stopped, she asked "Oh, is my car in the way?"

Today, after blowing a 45' top between a house and some high voltage wires, the neighbor tooled around the house and said, "Huh, this aint your first rodeo is it?"

Several years ago, just dropped a top into a front yard, I'm sitting on a limb beside the cut. A neighbor comes up and says, "Wow, didja just cut that piece from up there?" I replied, "Naw, just jumped up here for the hell of it."


"It'll cost you $1200 bucks for me to remove that tree." "Oh, hmmm, that's a bit more than I was expecting, how long do you suppose it will take?" "It's hard to put a firm number on it, but I'd figure on us being outta here in under two hours." "Two hours! My god!" "Well sir, the crane company will be here tomorrow and the least they are going to charge is $1800." "*sigh* Alright, you can do it." Dude left a broken pine roughly 100' tall hanging over his neighbors house for a week. I was the last service he called, and the first that said it wouldn't be a problem to remove sans a crane. The crane company was going to be out the next morning with a 100 ton, to try and figure it out. Ended up taking 1:54 hours, including the time spent making the video.
which vid?
 

lumberjack

Young man on the go
Joined
Mar 6, 2005
Messages
8,931
Location
Mississippi
Cruise Pine is the name of the vid, putfile deleted it, not too happy about that.

I'll see if I can find it and reload it.
 
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