Each child is different and what works with one may not work with the other. Communication is very important so unless you are a mind reader, keep the lines open stay involved.
Its kinda hard in this day & age when both parents have to work. I can tell you from all the kids that pass my "day job work-place" that the common denominator is a disruption or tragedy in the family. Kids will be more likely to get in trouble and end up with the wrong pier group. They will act out aggressively and thats easy to explain.
Aggression masks fear!
Without proper guidance kids get a little out of hand. If they know where they are going to be after high school... ie- college university workplace etc. They are much calmer because they know where they are heading.
If they don't have a game plane and don't know where they will be in the next 5 years... this will scare the hell out of them!!! They will tend to avoid doing well in school trying to stop time in its place so they don't have to face the future ...and their fear of the unknown!!!
As mentioned earlier, they will act out in unusual ways in attempts to shock the parents to see just where the limits are that the parents impose. They just want to know what the boundries are so they can feel safe & comfortable while living at home. Without guidelines/rules and "expectations", some kids have a hard time copping. They will tend to SHOCK you by doing weird things to get your attention and force you to respond to what they don't want to admit is bothering them...future!
Instead of telling your kids this or that to try & help them... Try asking them what they want to talk about!
They will yack about other things to feel you out before they trust you with their deep issues. It will be like gaining their trust all over again... strange but true as they get older.
The most important thing is to be there and available for them. Because if your not there for them...who will be?
The more they Appear that they don't want you (resist, fight, argue, shock you, do poorly in school etc.), ...THE MORE THEY NEED YOU!!!.
Stability comes with: Communication, Structure, Tolerance & Love!
Good luck to all of us who have kids. HC