How to tell you are married
Three women: one engaged, one married and one a mistress, are chatting
about their relationships and decided to
amaze their men. That night all three will wear black leather bras,
stiletto heels and a mask over their...
ever wonder
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all...
...by her actions, the man asked her, "Is something wrong?"
She replied, "There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps telling me I have mail!
******************************************************
A blonde grabbed a large thermos and hurried to a nearby coffee shop.
She held up the...
The Blonde Biker Bar and the Blind Man
Blind Cowboy
An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the waiter, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'
The bar...
RENTAL PROPERTY
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One evening, after attending the theater, two gentlemen were walking down the avenue when they observed a rather well dressed and attractive young lady walking ahead of them. One of them turned to the other and remarked, "I'd give $250.00 to spend the night with that woman."...
A man was blissfully driving along the highway, when he saw the Easter Bunny hopping across the
middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the Bunny, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of his car and was hit. The basket of eggs went flying all over the place.
The driver, being a...
I was at the tattoo palor the other day and the guy before me had a rooster tattooed on his calf. I guess it was so that he could tell the ladies he has a cock that hangs below his knees?
One day a teacher was doing an activity with her students in 3rd grade to figure out if they will think or not. So she goes in the corner and says, "I am holding something orange and round." A kid then put up his hand and said, "It's an orange."
"No," said the teacher, "but it shows that you...
For all those men who say, Why buy a cow when you can get milk for free... Here's an update for you: Nowadays, 80% of women are against marriage. WHY? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage.
Men are like....
1. Men are like Laxatives. They...
NICKNAMES
- If Laura, Kate and Sara go out for lunch, they will call each other - Lara, Kate and Sara. - If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Ace, or Big-Dog........
EATING OUT
- When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each...
Questions and Answers from an AARP Forum
Q: Where can men over the age of 60 find younger, sexy
women who are interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore under fiction.
Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?
A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the...
Three Hillbillies are sitting on a porch shootin' the breeze.
1st Hillbilly says: 'My wife sure is stupid!...She bought an air conditioner. '
2nd Hillbilly says: 'Why is that stupid?'
1st Hillbilly says: 'We ain't got no 'lectricity!'
2nd Hillbilly says: 'That's nothin'! My wife is so stupid...
About that dog house.
Right now if a man walked into my life, and gave me handles for my wheelbarrow and got that fixed - that man MIGHT BE IN HEAVEN . . . .:D:D:D
Why Men are Never Depressed:
Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a...
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