The Joke/Funny Pic/Video Thread

Neal the Seal :^D

For your daily dose of wholesome:






Alex is an award winning defense journalist, and him doing this video is almost on par with the level of awesome that NORAD puts into Santa Tracking.

Also, I love that America uses the largest defense budget in history, to make kids smile on Christmas. That is a Kaveman Approved use of tax dollars.

Edit: If you've never called the Santa tracking hotline, you're missing out, I called every year, into my twenties, now I get to for my girls.

Steve Mack said:

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Brian @SkwerI can send us some as he’s close to the canning facility. He may be involved with procurement of the armadillos as well?

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Don't get me started.

Treeaddict said:

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I'm deathly allergic to rakes, old injury and whatnot...

better to have a rake than the rake-work without a rake

Kaveman said:

I'd like to point out that the young man in the vintage photo IS SITTING ON THE FRONT FENDER!

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That was James Dean, nothing funny about him really.

Kaveman, I had to google Neal the Seal too!
He's down south...I'm up north, something about the 42nd parallel that impedes news flow

So Stephen, it seems you have some pretty stiff competition for tree work in your town.

Damn, Max, that was good.

But I think I got ya beat:

This one’s great

How much you pay the new guy? He no good.

Knotorious said:

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This is your fault, posting that drivel whilst I'm knurd, almost like you know it'll provoke me... ... ..........

Ever heard of the Hmong? Also spelled Mong.

Here's the stupid oversimplification: Vietnamese Highlanders. They sided with us in our lovely "Police Action", and those not evacuated were victim of genocide. These people are basically genetic hardasses. So phucking tough, death has to come in their sleep (Google Mong Sleeping Sickness).

I was living in a trailer park, just one little travel trailer with a fence among many. Kitty-corner across the "street" was the meanest, most aggressive Chow Chow I've ever seen in my life. The dog would jump the fence like it didn't exist and chase any dog or kid it saw walking.

I've mentioned Ton-Phuk-Pong, Spoon Man before. He is Hmong. His grandmother was almost exactly like the old woman from "Grand Torino", angry, old and tougher than boot leather, chewing tobacco while smoking. They lived in a single wide three doors down across the way. The old woman drank Pabst Blue Ribbon like water, puffed camels, and chewed RedMan.

I was standing with Spoon Man, in my excuse for a driveway, chain smoking Marlboros while we took shots of Jose Queervo, when the trailer park kids got off the school bus.

The fat, sloppy, disgusting, trailer trash owner of the aforementioned Chow dog, decided that was the time to not just let his dog out into the yard, but to openly sick the dog on the kids.

"Get'em boy! Run'em down! Ga'on git'em!"

The youngsters had already broke ranks, flooded to the far side of the little lane between trailers, and taken refuge behind the neighbor's fences. They made their way home through the yards, hopping fences, til they made it to their sad little singlewides.

Meanwhile, I looked like the punk from a worldstar hip hop video, with Spoon Man literally pinning my hand to the gun in my holster, and pushing me back towards my yard, while I screamed profanities at the fat slob across the way.

Spoon's grandma came out as the bellowing died away and hollered at her grandson. His reply was equally indecipherable to me. But I did understand laughter. I called him a racial slur and demanded to know what's so damned funny.

"Granny said to tell that hillbilly that if you shoot the dog, she'll cook it!"

The sauce was dark, rich, spicy and sweet all at once, and the meat melted in my mouth like the finest steak. One of the best Asian meals I've ever ate, bar none.

Well damn Jody! WTH?

Anybody else here hate Jody on name alone?

Tell me you served, without telling me you served...

Kaveman said:

I'm deathly allergic to rakes, old injury and whatnot...

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Raking affective disorder?

flushcut said:

Raking affective disorder?

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Yeah, I'm RAD!