The Joke/Funny Pic/Video Thread

I wish I'd found this book years ago!
 

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Don't get that...

I hate cocky fruit!

E6AgYxY.jpg
 
This is weird...

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/5qxIcKolzdU" frameborder="0" allow="autoplay; encrypted-media" allowfullscreen></iframe>
 
On their way to the church to get married, a young Catholic couple were involved in a fatal car accident.
Being good Catholics the young couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven.
While waiting, they begin to wonder: could they possibly get married in Heaven?
When St. Peter finally showed up, they asked him.
St Peter said "I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out" and he leaves them sitting at the Gate.
After three months, St Peter finally returns, looking somewhat bedraggled.
"Yes" he informs the couple " I can get you married in Heaven".
"Great!" said the couple "But we were just wondering, what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?"
"You must be bloody joking" says St. Peter, red-faced with frustration, slamming his clipboard on the ground.
"What's wrong?" asked the frightened couple".
"OH, COME ON!" St. Peter shouted "It took me three months to find a priest up here.....Do you have any idea how long it'll take me to find a lawyer?"
 
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