One rope, one Redneck & one deer.....

TheTreeWiseMen

Redneck Limey
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Feb 7, 2007
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The land of Rob.
Any of you guys who have been around deer should find this amusing...

Roping A Deer......

I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it.

The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that, since they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away), it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.

I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope.

The cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They were not having any of it.

After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up -- 3 of them. I picked out.. ..a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw.. my rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me.

I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would have a good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation.

I took a step towards it...it took a step away. I put a little tension on the rope and then received an education.

The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may just stand there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action when you start pulling on that rope.

That deer EXPLODED.

The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I could fight down with a rope and with some dignity.

A deer-- no chance.

That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I had originally imagined.

The only up side is that they do not have as much stamina as many other animals.


A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out of the big gash in my head. At that point, I had lost my taste for corn-fed venison. I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope.

I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it would likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was no love at all between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing, and I would venture a guess that the feeling was mutual.

Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in, so I didn't want the deer to have to suffer a slow death, so I managed to get it lined back up in between my truck and the feeder - a little trap I had set before hand...kind of like a squeeze chute.

I got it to back in there and I started moving up so I could get my rope back.

Did you know that deer bite? They do! I ne ver in a million years would have thought that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very surprised when I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my wrist.

Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where they just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its head --almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts.

The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was ineffective. It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but it was likely only several seconds.

I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim by now), tricked it.

While I kept it busy tearing the tendons out of my right arm, I reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose. That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day.

Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on their back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and their hooves are surprisingly sharp. I learned a long time ago that, when an animal -- like a horse --strikes at you with their hooves and you can't get away easily, the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards the animal.
This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can escape.

This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously, such trickery would not work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different strategy. I screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run.

The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a horse that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit you in the back of the head. Deer may not be so different from horses after all, besides being twice as strong and 3 times as evil, because the second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and knocked me down.

Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed. What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you while you are laying there crying like a little girl and covering your head.

I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away.

So now I know why when people go deer hunting they bring a rifle with a scope to sort of even the odds.
 
Don't worry about a deer biting someone but beware of those feet . They may be small in comparrison but they can kick like a mule . I know of several people that got the tar kicked out of themselves trying to free one from entanglement of a woven wire fence .
 
I read that last year, funny!

I think his last words before that were:

"Hey y'all, watch this............"

:|: :P

(I'll have to admit I got halfway through the article before I realized it wasn't YOU that was telling the story!!)
 
Heeal yeah nice read to start my day.
Made me forget about working on my mini till 9 last night in the dark and rain..
HAHAHAHA funny as
Thank you....
 
Anyone who has seen an adult deer charge through brush, and do an instant cut of direction that would be the envy of any back in the NFL, would seemingly know that throwing a rope on one, would be opening a can of worms.

Still, an interesting story, and that they bite!
 
They are amazingly strong, fast, and agile creatures. You have to be to get away from mountain lions. They also use cover like you wouldn't believe. I was walking back to my pickup after a deer hunt and wasn't very alert when one jumped out just a few feet in front of me. I could see that it was a buck and took aim it got behind some brush and went around the little gulley and it was maybe 10 seconds before it went over the next ridge and I never saw it. I could hear it and I could see the brush move once in a while, and could see some rocks come rolling down, but I never got a shot. The terrain was extremely rocky and steep also. I was just left in awe because the brush wasn't thick at all but he had used a route that kept him hidden from me the whole time.
When my Dad was a kid my Grandpa had captured a fawn and raised it around the ranch. Everything was OK until the little guy started to reach sexual maturity and then one day my Grandpa was walking somewhere in the yard and the "pet" deer stood in his way and Grandpa kept walking and the deer stood on his back legs and took a swipe at him with one of his front legs and tore the bib overalls and made a 6 inch long gash in his chest. Well, guess what they were eating the next few days. What Grandpa told my Dad was "if the game warden asks what happened to our deer tell him that he ran away".
 
White tail deer are a hoot to watch .They will play with a dog .Absolutely run one to death .

Dogs being dogs will chase anything that runs from them including cars .That one I never figured out .What if they caught one ,what then .Bury a Honda in the back yard ?:?.:lol:
 
A friend of mine has a fawn that she's raising.

Her son came across a dead mom on the road (fresh, he'd stopped cuz he thought she was still alive) and the fairly new fawn was nearby. He called home, his mom said to go ahead and bring it home.

She then started calling everywhere to find out what she had to do to make it 'legal'. Turned out, to be able to keep a fawn/deer, you must have a permit already in possession. Sounds like she went through all the above ground hoops and then gave up. She found a local vet who's giving her advice on feed & care. Their plan is to keep it until its a year then let it go. Better she than me.

I can't remember if it was a 'he' or a 'she'.....I'll run your grandpa's story by her next time I see her, Steve.
 
My friends around the corner had a wildlife rescue operation. They would raise orphaned deer and then release them when they are big enough. When they let "Bucky" loose he went about 1 mile away to a more populated area and was mooching. People were entertained by him. Then a dumbass pushed on his head and the show was on. The guy had binoculars in his hand which got tangled in Bucky's antlers and the guy got a big gash in the palm of his hand. They got in touch with the people who raised the deer and they came over and tranquillized Bucky and took him home. He still resides there 2 years later. He is to tame to release.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #18
I read that last year, funny!

I think his last words before that were:

"Hey y'all, watch this............"

:|: :P

(I'll have to admit I got halfway through the article before I realized it wasn't YOU that was telling the story!!)

If it had been me telling the tale Che, I would have titled it: 'One rope, one Limey & one deer'......:)
 
Sorry. I guess I've been on the farm too long, I just assume EVERYBODY is actually a redneck at heart.



:P
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #20
Sorry. I guess I've been on the farm too long, I just assume EVERYBODY is actually a redneck at heart.



:P

No worries. According to my NY wife I am a Redneck.....no tailgate on my pickup truck, I spit with my mouth closed etc. etc.
 
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