Customers say the darnest things!

[okietreedude]

We were taking out a poplar the other day and I had my rookie climber in the tree while I was being the groundie. He was only about 25-30' up (short tree to start) when the tenent showed up for lunch break or something. He walks around the side of the house to where I was standing and sees the guy in the tree. Instantly he starts "No F'n way! No Fn way! He's fn nuts!:O You'd have to be Fn nuts to do that! No way would i do it...no fn way!"

All I could do was laugh and point out that the climber wasnt even that high off the ground.

What are some of the funny things youve heard?

[MasterBlaster]

"Git the hell outta my tree before I shoot you!"

I lol'ed at that!

[JonnyHart]

As I was pole pruning a crabapple, a neighbor says " hey are you cutting that tree down? " I told him " that's like shaving your head with scissors! "

And when people ask if they can have some firewood from a job, you gotta say " Whatta ya think firewood just grows on trees?! "

[squisher]

Ha I find it funny how people always exagerrate heights, I mean it's good for all of us but it never ceases to amaze me everytime somebody calls me about their 200ft pine tree. Even a local landscraping company that I sub for, their guys are like wow man you were like 60-70' up there and it's only a 30-40' tree. Like I say makes us look like real badasses. I've given up trying to convince people I just agree yup that's way, way up there.:D

The customers that boil my blood are the ones that throw out the, 'well that was pretty easy' after it's done. Oh yah, well why didn't ya do it yourself then?

[JamesTX]

The customers that boil my blood are the ones that throw out the, 'well that was pretty easy' after it's done. Oh yah, well why didn't ya do it yourself then?

I'll say that, but it's in a - "Man, you make something that I could never do look easy" - sort of way. Don't take it the wrong way.

[cybergeek23851]

Hmmm the best so far to date-


Rude Lady: Are you working on that machine( The lane is coned off, and the machine is opened up so I can work on it.)
Me- Yes ma'am. I apologize, but I am working on it as fast as I can.
RL- Well how much D@mn longer are you f'!ng gonna be?
Me- Hopefully no more than an hour
RL- That f'ing machine is an f'ing piece of f'ing crap. Ya'll are the worst fawkers on the planet for fixing that f'ing piece of cr@p. Do you know where there's another f'ing machine at?
Me- I'm just here doing my job ma'am. The branch is open upstairs if you'd like to try there.
RL- walks away screaming obscenities that would make a sailor blush, while stomping angrily up the ramp to the branch.

[Blinky]

My son got pretty pissed when he was working the ground and a bystander asked him if he was a tree killer in training. He set'em straight, "My dad's an arborist and I'm a groundie."

[Stumper]

Jason. Next time tell her that the printer is broken and it can't make any cash.

[Old Monkey]

We were working in a tree in front of the Santa Rosa Library while it was closed for Presidents day and had to keep telling patrons that the library was closed. One young fellow upon hearing the reason it was closed said defiantly, "F'ING CLINTON, I DIDN"T EVEN VOTE FOR HIM!"

Another favorite was while cutting trees down at a grammar school so they could build a new multipurpose room. A cute little girl cam up to my tree and asked in her sweetest Cindy Lou Who voice, "Are you going to cut down all our trees?"


Another good one was a little kid two houses over calling over to me, "What are you cutting that tree down with?"
"Its called a chainsaw."
"My dad has a chainsaw.....its bigger than yours is."
"Oh yeah, my dad's dead," I wanted to reply to mess with the little fellow. Unfortunately I didn't say that.

Finally, back in California I got loads and loads of "TREE KILLER!" I love that one.

[Skwerl]

I was called a 'tree murderer' once. Just once. :/:

[Stumper]

"Today trees ,tomorrow people! Hahahahhahahheeehawhaw.":evil:

[stehansen]

Jason. Next time tell her that the printer is broken and it can't make any cash.

I really want to steal one of those now.

[Old Monkey]

I had a customer who when he came home was overjoyed at all the shrub pruning we did.

"Its as if the 'Shrub Fairy' came by while I was gone!"

Too bad I have all of my business cards printed out or I'd change my company name to The Shrub Fairy or perhaps The Shrub Faerie, to mess with all the Steve Hansen's of this world.

[stehansen]

:/:

[No_Bivy]

Fairy Tree service? :what: :/: :O

[stehansen]

That might go over big in SF. They have a gay yellow pages.

[squisher]

Gee I always thought 'Tree Killer' was a compliment, guess I'm reading all the situations wrong.:D

[No_Bivy]

That might go over big in SF. They have a gay yellow pages.

We have the "Purple Pages" here.....:/: gaydar:/:

[stehansen]

We have the "Purple Pages" here.....:/: gaydar:/:

You sure it's not lavender.

[No_Bivy]

Nope.....it's purple..So far I'm the only "gay" friendly tree service:\:
I was gonna have the slogan " a straight tree guy for the queer eye" but I chickened out............8)

[squisher]

lmfao, ewwww!!:D

[lumberjack]

"Carl, I don't see how you doooo dat." Old lady who had just parked her car under a 1500lb nuget of wood we had just rigged from the back side of the tree. After the pucker stopped, she asked "Oh, is my car in the way?"

Today, after blowing a 45' top between a house and some high voltage wires, the neighbor tooled around the house and said, "Huh, this aint your first rodeo is it?"

Several years ago, just dropped a top into a front yard, I'm sitting on a limb beside the cut. A neighbor comes up and says, "Wow, didja just cut that piece from up there?" I replied, "Naw, just jumped up here for the hell of it."


"It'll cost you $1200 bucks for me to remove that tree." "Oh, hmmm, that's a bit more than I was expecting, how long do you suppose it will take?" "It's hard to put a firm number on it, but I'd figure on us being outta here in under two hours." "Two hours! My god!" "Well sir, the crane company will be here tomorrow and the least they are going to charge is $1800." "*sigh* Alright, you can do it." Dude left a broken pine roughly 100' tall hanging over his neighbors house for a week. I was the last service he called, and the first that said it wouldn't be a problem to remove sans a crane. The crane company was going to be out the next morning with a 100 ton, to try and figure it out. Ended up taking 1:54 hours, including the time spent making the video.

[No_Bivy]

"Carl, I don't see how you doooo dat." Old lady who had just parked her car under a 1500lb nuget of wood we had just rigged from the back side of the tree. After the pucker stopped, she asked "Oh, is my car in the way?"

Today, after blowing a 45' top between a house and some high voltage wires, the neighbor tooled around the house and said, "Huh, this aint your first rodeo is it?"

Several years ago, just dropped a top into a front yard, I'm sitting on a limb beside the cut. A neighbor comes up and says, "Wow, didja just cut that piece from up there?" I replied, "Naw, just jumped up here for the hell of it."


"It'll cost you $1200 bucks for me to remove that tree." "Oh, hmmm, that's a bit more than I was expecting, how long do you suppose it will take?" "It's hard to put a firm number on it, but I'd figure on us being outta here in under two hours." "Two hours! My god!" "Well sir, the crane company will be here tomorrow and the least they are going to charge is $1800." "*sigh* Alright, you can do it." Dude left a broken pine roughly 100' tall hanging over his neighbors house for a week. I was the last service he called, and the first that said it wouldn't be a problem to remove sans a crane. The crane company was going to be out the next morning with a 100 ton, to try and figure it out. Ended up taking 1:54 hours, including the time spent making the video.
which vid?

[lumberjack]

Cruise Pine is the name of the vid, putfile deleted it, not too happy about that.

I'll see if I can find it and reload it.

[No_Bivy]

why did they delete it...to wild?

[JIML]

Busy road, near a college town, tons of people on bicycles. Had 2 women ride by after we sucked an entire big cedar tree through the chipper. They looked at each other and said "Smells like Christmas". Struck me as funny.

[No_Bivy]

"smells like christmas" thats a great customer qoute.

one of my fav's is "what ya'll doin with that wood":/: or "while your here":what: ...

[Dave Shepard]

I was doing some cleanup on a job at a Steiner School, (definately not a "tree killer" friendly school) with a power broom. There was serious discussion amongst the little ones as to what kind of tool I was running. My favorites where "saw chain" and "steam roller".


Dave

[Wagnaw]

Nah... it would have to be, "What you got back there? Is that double grind or triple grind?" :lol:

[No_Bivy]

"you gonna sweep that drive?"

[Dave Shepard]

I was working the ropes for a friend of mine on one of the coldest tee jobs I've ever been on. The sun didn't hit this spot until almost noon. The customer had a great sense of humor, once he was up and restored his coffee levels to operating levels. It was about ten AM, a little too early for him to be up. We had shut down the saws for a minute when he opens his upstairs window, hair standing about straight up, looking very groggy. Picture a sixty year old Chris Farley with coke bottle glasses after a three day bender. "Can't a guy get a little F'n beauty sleep around here?, I'm going to look like hell at the office!":lol: Somehow I didn't think he was going to be lookin' to good at the office anyway.:roll:


Dave

[okietreedude]

Just thought of another.....


This spring I bought a Vermeer 600tx mini skid. I had it on a job when a bystander told us 'boy, that sure is a cute machine' :what:

Lots of people say things to the effect - that sure comes in handy, doesnt it?

[Mr. Sir]

One of my favorites was the time I was up in an oak pruning out mistletoe. It was winter, so the tree had no leaves and the mistletoe was very prominent. I was about halfway finished when the elderly customers son came home and started ranting about what an f'ing moron I was for cutting all the live branches and leaving all the "dead" ones. I just shook my head and ignored him.

Another time a neighbor came home and started screaming at me because sawdust was blowing onto her lawn. I told her I would do my best to make it fall the other way and that seemed to satisfy her.

[okietreedude]

on the sawdust,I had a neighbor lady bitchin ab out the dust falling in her swimming pool and wanted me to clean it. I told her sorry, i was a tree man, not a pool man. (she didnt like that one)

[JIML]

This was real funny to me,

We were working at a customer that was not happy with us being there, said no at first, then the boss told him we were going to trim. The guy was a doctor. The chip boys were cleaning up and the doctor was watching them shove brush in the chipper. He was looking the chipper over real good, then finally asked where the brush went once it was shoved in the chipper :D um you missed the part where it shot in the back of the truck.

[Jamin Mayer]

um you missed the part where it shot in the back of the truck.


OMG. I had a lady ask me the same thing. I wanted to say something sarcastic, but I bit my tongue and politely said, "in the back of the truck."

[Jamin Mayer]

I told her I would do my best to make it fall the other way and that seemed to satisfy her.

That is hilarious. :lol:

[Jamin Mayer]

I hate it when you are working on a tree for a couple of hours (just trimming). Here you have spent a considerable amount of time making a huge improvement on the tree and the neighbor comes out of the house and asks, "You taking that thing down?":what:

I usually say, "Would you like me to?" :lol: Or I say, "Naw. If I were taking it down it would have been done by now.":)

[Old Monkey]

Where does the brush go?

I want a chipper with a small singularity in it and everything that is fed into it stays in it and never comes out. I could paint a line on the infeed and call it the event horizon and inform the ground guys that everything that passes that line is gone forever so watch your fingers. Containment fields might give me some trouble and there could be some liability issues if you happen to lose the singularity through the earth's crust but it would be cool to have a chipper with no chute.

[The Branch Doctor]

I had an old lady come over to my groundie and ask "Oh Lord, is he gonna die up there?" and Mikey assured her in his kindest voice "Oh no ma'am, we're professionals. We do this everyday." So she continues to watch for a few moments and then says "Well good, that'd be a hell of a mess.". And she turned around and walked back in the house.

So when I asked what they were talking about Mikey had to take a minute to stop laughing before saying "She said don't die cause it'll make a mess."

[Skwerl]

Whatever you do- don't make a mess, Jason! :lol:

[The Branch Doctor]

It's been an anthem ever since then. Mikey (my groudie) will wait till I'm way up there and then he'll stop everything to get my attention and say "Hey Jay, don't make a mess dude.":lol:

Makes me roll every time.

[sawinredneck]

This is by far one of the best threads I have ever read!!!

I actually had a "while you are here" clause written into my bid sheets!!

"I am not liable, and I will charge you extra, if you or you're spouse comes and asks me to do above and beyond what I have bid. If I am told to do it, no price will be disscused, it will be figured and added accordingly. If it is disscused, I will figure a number and give you another bid."

People will suck you dry with that crap!!!

[Hobby Climber]

I recall a customers neighbor who stepped out their back door and noticed me 45' up in a tree. We chatted a bit before I got back to work and she asked if I needed anything. Jokingly I replied, "could you bring me up a glass of water"! She said, "sure I'll be right back".

The puzzled expression on her face was priceless after she returned with that glass of water in her hand looking up at me! :lol:

HC

[JIML]

Ive had people ask me if they will die if kite string gets on the power line, (the commercials on the radio say it will kill you). All I tell them is stay away from the line, even if its laying on the ground. ive never flown a kite :D

[Emilio]

People always ask how we bid jobs I tell them by the job.Reason being that they call about this giant tree and its like 30 ft tall or they say they have this little tree and its huge so we just have to look at it as im sure most of you here do the same. every one looks at them different my father looks at one then I look at it we both have different ideas about it we usually take the best of both if we can it works out great.most of the time.....

[Stumper]

Lookey Loo "What are you doing for Mr. X?"
Stumper "Removing that tree."
Lookey Loo "Is it dying?"
Stumper "Yes. Today."

[Stumper]

Emilio! Good to read you!

[Emilio]

stumper hello, your post reminds me of a story we were removing a very old elm tree in St.Johns stumper you know the area. well it was a histrioc tree it had a sign the works well it was falling apart bad big branches falling off it was just done it was rotten and dangerous well we were cutting it down and people were driving by yelling all kinda mean stuff at us well one guy drives by and he is yelling out of his car that tree is part of our history.! well the guy that works for us yells back yep its history now!!!!

[sotc]

i had one on my answering machine yesterday. "our large tree fell over and theres still a few roots intact, wed like to save it" :)

[Emilio]

ha ha yeah thats funny.

[pantheraba]

Where does the brush go?

I want a chipper with a small singularity in it and everything that is fed into it stays in it and never comes out. I could paint a line on the infeed and call it the event horizon and inform the ground guys that everything that passes that line is gone forever so watch your fingers. Containment fields might give me some trouble and there could be some liability issues

Hey, OM, can't let that one go by uncommented...great idea...call it the Black Worm. I'll buy one of those. "Watch your fingers"..hahaha:lol:

Emilio -- good line, "well, it's history now"!!!

[Marc]

Customer: "Can you do something about my tree, the leaves make such a mess"
Me:"Errr, so you want me to remove it, yes?"
Customer:"No can't you just remove all the leaves?"



Customer:"I'm a little concerned about my tree, when its really windy it moves around a lot!"
Me:"What at the base?"
Customer:"No, just the top"


A customer who was very fond of her Ash tree:
Customer:"My poor Ash tree is dying, can you see if you can save it"

I go to investigate and soon see the cause, someone has cut round the base of the tree with an axe, to remove some Ivy.

So I say "It looks like the cause of the die back is an interuption of the energy flow through the cambium at the base, I don't think this tree can be saved"
Customer:"Do you think it had anything to do with me using an axe to remove the ivy?"
Me:"Thats looks likely, yes"

[Thor's Hammer]

Where does the brush go?

I want a chipper with a small singularity in it and everything that is fed into it stays in it and never comes out. I could paint a line on the infeed and call it the event horizon and inform the ground guys that everything that passes that line is gone forever so watch your fingers. Containment fields might give me some trouble and there could be some liability issues if you happen to lose the singularity through the earth's crust but it would be cool to have a chipper with no chute.

I've thought of that too. I was thinking of having a wormhole that came out near the sun. That way all my brush would be disposed of neatly.8)

[Blinky]

Where does the brush go?

I want a chipper with a small singularity in it and everything that is fed into it stays in it and never comes out. [...]

It would be pretty heavy though, you'd need something big to haul it around like, i dunno, a galaxy maybe? :roll:

[sotc]

well youd have to dodge scales then

[okietreedude]

I had a good one this fall...lady calls in says her tree is dying as the leaves are turning brown and falling off. Uhh....lady...its fall.....all trees are doing this.

oh, and this old standard: 'do you do this for a living?' Yes is the standard answer w/ the addition in the head of 'what kind of stupid question is that?' i mean, would you call a plumber that only worked on the side?

[Stumper]

Okie, Try telling them "Oh no , I'm independently destitute, I just do this for spending money."

[Frans]

I've thought of that too. I was thinking of having a wormhole that came out near the sun. That way all my brush would be disposed of neatly.8)


Yea, but that would cause sun flairs and mess up my satellite reception!


Bid a job last summer, told the guy it would be 1200 dollars to remove the tree and haul everything away.
He said, "well I will tell you what, I will allow you to buy the firewood for 500 bucks.

I told him that is like trying to sell ice to an eskimo.

[squisher]

Ha I love it when customers start talking about the 'value' of their firewood. You bet it's worth a mint, I suggest you keep it and sell it yourself.;)

[mryb]

I have 2 properties against my back line. The one owner just had 24 acres/420 trees logged out. The lady (major treehugger. Cries when they are cut down.) that owns the other plot left the guy a list of days she was going to be home & asked the guy to tell the loggers not to come on them days. I seen a paper airplane in his yard. I think that was her answer....Rick

[Blinky]

Had Duke Power guy tell his customer they refused to go under a major (10") support root on a willow oak right over her house. She was prepared to pay for the upcharge. This is paraphrased...

Homeowner: What are you going to do when you have to go across the water and gas lines?
Duke Power Guy: We'll hand dig under them with shovels.
HO: Why won't you do that with this root?
DPG: "Because you're just worried about it." (that is a direct quote)

Case closed, he wouldn't discuss it any further. As my kids are fond of saying, that's not a reason, that's an excuse.

[Part Time]

Customer on the phone: "So, what do you charge to cut down a tree."

[okietreedude]

Customer on the phone: "So, what do you charge to cut down a tree."

OH yea, on the phone, in person, in a resturant.....all over town.:X

[sawinredneck]

Customer on the phone: "So, what do you charge to cut down a tree."

"If you have to ask, you probably can't afford it!"

[Paul B]

" lots"

would you like me to come and have a look to estimate more accurately?

[RIVERRAT]

" I chose to go with you because your clean cut & well spoken. The crew that was here earlier...... my god, 2 of them looked as if they had been digging worms the other looked like he'd been eating them "

[sotc]

Customer on the phone: "So, what do you charge to cut down a tree."

under 10000 bucks:D

[Stumper]

"Do you cut down trees for the firewood?"

[okietreedude]

We were working in Tulsa ok couple weeks back after an ice storm and had a guy hire us because 'we were white, spoke english and were wearing hard hats' (his words)

[Frans]

Customer on the phone: "So, what do you charge to cut down a tree."

Well it depends. Yes, but I just need to know how much it costs?

1000.00. But this tree is only 3 inches thick! (their words)

As I said, it depends. I have to come out and see it.

Oh, well thanks. I will call you if your bid is competitive and we decide to go with you.

[pete mctree]

I had just finnished a routine tree when I noticed that my groundie was nearly doubled up with laughter.The old dear we were working for had complimented me on my climbing and commented on my bravery on overcoming pollio!!!! She thought my spikes were callipers :)

[MasterBlaster]

Callipers? That's what ya'll Brits call braces? Go figure.

[OTGBOSTON]

as I am cutting down a row of dead trees on a busy street, "why are you cutting those trees?" my reply, "you're a college student aren't you":P

[pantheraba]

as I am cutting down a row of dead trees on a busy street, "why are you cutting those trees?" my reply, "you're a college student aren't you":P

Now THAT'S a good reply...quick thinking. :lol:

[Stumper]

Some goofball telemarketing punk without a real job called me today dunning me for money to support some program to "teach kids to shoot hoops instead of handguns". I told him that I thought it would be better to teach then to shoot handguns and spoiled his day.

[squisher]

Ha, ha good for you Justin! I can't believe that calling people at home soliciting isn't illegal WTF?

[Skwerl]

My home phone is set for 2 rings on the answering machine and my recorded 'greeting' is very short (but polite), so I don't have time to answer the phone when it rings if I wanted to. About one call out of twenty will leave a message. Anybody that knows me well will call me on my cell phone anyway. Life is much more pleasant since I quit answering my home phone.

[Jonseredbred]

Brian, post your cell phone #.................................... I wanna see how pleasant you are at 4 AM:P

[Paul B]

"Life is much more pleasant since I quit answering my home phone."

Amen to that, cat get the wife to figure it out tho, she is a diver, phone rings, no matter what she is doing she dives for it and has a gander at the call display. Me, I dont blink when it rings.

[sawinredneck]

My wife is the same way Paul, I bought her a cordless, but she leaves it on the charger all the time and runs when it rings:lol:
I gues we aren't suposed tounderstand them!!!

[Mr. Sir]

"Life is much more pleasant since I quit answering my home phone."

Amen to that, cat get the wife to figure it out tho, she is a diver, phone rings, no matter what she is doing she dives for it and has a gander at the call display. Me, I dont blink when it rings.

Ha, I'm the same way. When the home phone rings, I don't even acknowledge it.

[sotc]

i hate any beeping, ringing, or otherracket. i jump up and shut the noise makers off

[GASoline71]

On the 3rd tree I ever topped and chunked during a removal, I received a proposition from the lady of the house. While I was still on the spar. :|:

Hubby was still there too. :what:

I had taken the top out of a Hemlock and had chunked it down to about 30 feet... I was takin' a break and drinkin' some water, plus I needed/wanted a bigger saw. So I lower one saw and my buddy/groundie ties in the other saw, and as I haul it up he has a note attached to the line... "Look in the second story window."

I look to the window... and notice the gal standing in the window with a small sign... "Call me after 6 tonight... 555-1234"

She was fairly attractive... but I never did call her.

LMAO...

Gary

[Old Monkey]

You big hunk of man you!

[Paul B]

at least you took the time to write her number down and keep it eh? :P

[Stumper]

Gary, You erred. You called this person the "lady of the house". Obviously she was no lady.

[gf beranek]

While working in Santa Rosa I was treated to a few window shows.

[Blinky]

Why doesn't stuff like that ever happen to me?!!

[Frans]

did you say 555-1234?. Thanks got it written down now :)

[Stumper]

Chip, I'd lend you my mirror but I broke it.

[TheTreeWiseMen]

I was once told, and I quote, "keep the price down, otherwise I'll have to sleep with you." She was a fellow Brit, quite a looker too. She used to be a police woman back in the old country. Sooo, I asked her if she still had her uniform....and handcuffs.....

[GASoline71]

LMAO... that was a made up number Frans...

I don't remember the real number. She was a nice lookin' gal. :)

But I agree with the Stumpman... any woman I want in my life... shant be the way this gal was...

Gary

[squisher]

Who said you wanted her in your life?:D

[Jonseredbred]

While working in Santa Rosa I was treated to a few window shows.

My Father has a million stories of window shows, women answering the door naked, ect. when he was in the tree business.

I have been doing this 20 yrs now and I have none, zippo, nada.:(

[squisher]

Hmm, sounds like the apple fell far from the tree this time :P .

Let's see all the years in the bush, no no naked women. About the most exciting thing we'd run into was a female forester or a truck full of treeplanters, although with the planters it could be hard to tell the women from the men sometimes.:D

[MasterBlaster]

Dang, and I've never even had a good pool shot! :cry:

[GASoline71]

Who said you wanted her in your life?:D

LMAO... point taken mang...:)

Guess I just don't need that kind of stuff in my life anymore.

Cheaters are one of the lowest forms of life IMHO...

Gary

[Frans]

What about this vegas slogan?

What happens in vegas stays in vegas


It seems like our society is promoting questionable morals

[Jonseredbred]

What about this vegas slogan?

What happens in vegas stays in vegas


It seems like our society is promoting questionable morals

We all need to question some of our morals once in a while and live a little.

[OTGBOSTON]

We all need to question some of our morals once in a while and live a little.

AMEN!

[GASoline71]

We all need to question some of our morals once in a while and live a little.

Well... not to turn this into a "morals" thread...

But the first gal I landed in bed with after I got divorced (guess that would be a "rebound"... LOL), turned out to be married... I felt like complete shit after that.

I was cheated on in my marriage, and now i was "the other guy"...

Frig that...

Gary

[TreeDr]

I had a client introduce me to her husband as "He's the one I sleep with on Wednesdays"

I had a gay client tell me I'm too good looking to be straight. (That was F'd up)

I love it when clients as me why I dont wear "those spikey shoes"

[Jamin Mayer]

Let me set this up: I was doing a small Colorado Blue Spruce removal. The tree was planted too close to the driveway. Picture a young spruce (20 years old). The trunk was about 1' away from the driveway. So, 6'- 8' of one side of the tree was covering half their driveway. I de-limbed the lower branches to allow myself to be able to fell the tree. I then fell the tree.

The neighbor opens her front door and asks, "How could you cut that thing down?" (She put me on the defensive right away). So I replied, "It's easy! I just cut off the lower limbs, put my notch in the tree, and then put my back cut into the tree. There you have it." --She didn't like my answer.:lol:

She then proceeds..."Why did they want that tree cut down?" I said, "You'll have to take that up with them." She insists, so I told her "The tree was planted in the wrong place. They can't use their driveway properly." :what:

She didn't like anything I said. Go figure.:cry:

[Jamin Mayer]

I hate it when a person asks you a question while you are working and their question is "loaded" with some kind of ulterior motive.:2gunfire:

Maybe I'll learn to fire back with this: "Ummm... Can you please re-phrase your question?":?

[Hobby Climber]

A while back I was called in to do some freelance work for another local company. The owner was a bucket jockey but a climber!

The job went smooth with no problem. Once I was back on the ground, some woman walking her dog came up to me and started giving me the gears about cutting down the tree!

As a background, the tree was about 118' and on the homeowners side of the property line bordering a public park along Lake Erie.

This woman went on & on about me being a tree killer and that trees belong to everyone and I had no right...yada yada yada!

Now keep in mind that I was about 4+ hours in that tree (ate my lunch 85'up) and it was the middle of August. I was tired and not in the mood for her. So instead of just simply telling her to F-off, I told her this little white lie:

"Ma'am, I was hired to remove this tree because the home owner was concerned that a big limb could fall and kill someone given the recent strong winds we've been having recently. That and because the home owner is also tired of cleaning up after people such as yourself who insist on trespassing on his property so their pets can crap in his yard!"

That kinda took the wind out of her sail. :lol:

The woman was quiet for a bit and then, with glossy eyes she asked me to tell the home owner that she was sorry about her dog and if the tree could somehow be put back! Then she offered to pay to have it put back! I had to walk away at that point, I didn't have the heart to continue any further.

HC

[sotc]

"It's easy! I just cut off the lower limbs, put my notch in the tree, and then put my back cut into the tree. There you have it." --:big-tongue5:

[Paul B]

A friend of mine said if people come close and talk to you and you dont want to listen, rev the hell out of your chainsaw, stare them in the eyes and let them know you cant hear what they are saying!

I havent had a prob... yet. :)

[Hobby Climber]

A friend of mine said if people come close and talk to you and you dont want to listen, rev the hell out of your chainsaw, stare them in the eyes and let them know you cant hear what they are saying!

I havent had a prob... yet. :)
--------------------------




:buzzsaw: :buzzsaw: :buzzsaw: WHAT???:P

HC

[MasterBlaster]

I just point to the earplugs in my ears.

[Frans]

It sounds like the lady has a good heart, HB. Just a bit misguided

[Bounce]

On my 3rd or 4th day working as a groundie, I went with my boss to take down a big (36-48") doug fir next to a huge multi-million dollar mansion on the lake. The tree was 90% dead, just live enough to still climb. As soon as my boss gets up to about 50 or 60 ft and starts to let the branches fall, the lady of the house lets her dog out. Of course, the dog wants to run around and play right where we're working. After a falling branch just barely misses the dog, I knock on the front door and ask if they could please keep the dog inside until we're done. The lady says hell no, her dog can come and go as it pleases. I try to explain the situation and she slams the door in my face! I try my best to keep the dog out of the way, but I can't shag brush, keep my bosses lines clear, and hold onto the dog. My boss sees the dog on the ground and I explain to him what happened with the lady at the top of my lungs. He shrugs and says it's her problem. The 2nd or 3rd 12 ft piece of trunk fell from 100+ ft and landed right across the dog's back, killing it instantly and very messily. When the lady found out what happened, she never said a word.

[JamesTX]

Wow - that'd give me nightmares.

[MasterBlaster]

So what happened to the carcass?

[okietreedude]

Only youd ask that.

[MasterBlaster]

Yes, my point is did she expect them to deal with it?

[JIML]

chipper ?

[JIML]

We had someone really mad at us one day, don't recall why but they read my foreman at the time the riot act. After they were done, he looked at them and said "Im sorry but this is only my 2nd day and don't know what to tell you"

He had worked there for over a year.

[Frans]

So what happened to the carcass?

So what happened to the carcass?


No really, what happened to the carcass of the dog?

[Bounce]

We left it layin in the grass with a circle of needles and twigs all around it because we couldn't bear to rake too close to it, and then I puked in the chip truck. It was a yellow lab probably about a year old. You know how most other kinds of dogs are done being puppies at that age but labs aren't? The lady sure was a heinous c#nt, but the dog didn't deserve to die. I should not have posted this here

[GASoline71]

It's alright Sean...

Not much you could have done about it. Some people just should not own animals.

Think about what you would have felt like if the dog caused an accident where you or your boss got hurt, maimed, or killed while you were tryin' to control it. The woman should have never let the dog out.

Gary

[squisher]

Yah man not your fault, nothing wrong with posting it. Unfortunate event alright, espescially for the dog.

[MasterBlaster]

I would have tied the dog up myself, I've had to do it before.

[Blinky]

Guy brings his dogs on jobs sometimes. I've been amazed by how they react to the sounds of cutting and falling wood... they always move. Nearly nailed one with a throwball a few times though.

[Che]

We left it layin in the grass with a circle of needles and twigs all around it because we couldn't bear to rake too close to it, and then I puked in the chip truck. It was a yellow lab probably about a year old. You know how most other kinds of dogs are done being puppies at that age but labs aren't? The lady sure was a heinous c#nt, but the dog didn't deserve to die. I should not have posted this here

GOOD place to post it....I agree with Gary though. You did what you had to do. Kids and pets have no place in most work zones.....either you get your work done and the kids/animals are in danger, or you spend your time watching THEM and your work, or worse, your safety suffers. I can't do it.

If you can't tether the dog (keep a collar behind the truck seat) you may be able to put it in the back of the truck until you're finished.

[Jonseredbred]

I once took home a beautiful German Sheperd puppy from a job. Same kind of scenario, loose (9 months old) dog in the lawn we were working in, owner could care less. We worked on that street 3 days in a row and the dog was loose everyday and in the way. The owner asked us where the dog ran off to, I shrugged and said I dunno (She was sleeping on the front seat of the chip truck). He replied with "fug that dog".

She was a great friend for alot of years. A really good dog, I know we gave her a better life.

[MasterBlaster]

I've called the cops before because a 10 year old kid wouldn't stay outta the way and I couldn't get anyone to answer the door where he lived. It turned out the mother had left the kid at home and went somewhere. She got busted.

[Che]

She got busted.

Good. :thumbup:

[sawinredneck]

Very good!!!!
Thats just uncool on every level!!!!

[sotc]

id leave the job, i dont want to have to dog sit.

[Paul B]

I let folks know that animals and kids must be restrained when we are working, so far no probs, they keep fido and junior in the house when we are there except for the odd coffee / potty break which is fine as long as we both (client and workers) are aware of who is out. I also let them know THEY are not welcome in or near the workzone and if they must be there they have to make visual contact with me or a co-worker as we likely cant hear them with our PPE on. Again, so far no probs. :)

[Frans]

I also let them know THEY are not welcome in or near the workzone and if they must be there they have to make visual contact with me or a co-worker as we likely cant hear them with our PPE on. Again, so far no probs. :)

We were working NEAR the street and sometime during the job the local electric company came and replaced a street light. They set out about 20 cones and signs and had two guys with signs doing traffic control.

So after they left, and we were cleaning up, this little snotty self important punk from the city came blazing up the street, whipped right into our work zone (the customer's driveway), hopped out and told me he had 'received a complaint' about OUR traffic control.

I told him it was not us, it was HIS fellow employees. He then started some crap about how he could not see any city employees there so I must be mistaken.
Freaking dildo brain.

I told him to check back with his boss and confirm what I told him. I said that 1. if I blocked the street for ANY PERIOD of time I would have the necessary permits to do so and,
2. He had entered into my work zone without any authorization and should he become injured, I would personally hold him accountable as he was behaving in a manner which is not consistent with the city's safe working practices procedures by entering a work zone without any PPE, or prior authorization.
and 3... that the electric company had staged their trucks ACROSS THE STREET where their was a pull off. NOT WITHIN MY WORK ZONE! and they were very friendly and professional to us.

He again started to backtalk, so I asked him what his job title was, and if his job description included enforcement of local laws. I then informed him of MY personal good connections to our local police, and how I am personal friends with the mayor & city arborist.

The little creep then apologized! He hopped back into his truck and ran away :X

It pisses me off to have some low life city employee attempting to throw his weight around.
I have no doubt that he has harrassed folks in the past and gotten away with it.

[sotc]

i could have so much fun with frans, sending people to his job site to throw bones for him! :lol: probably make some great vids from across the street!:D

[Frans]

:lol: Better be far far across the street!

[sotc]

super zoom! :D

[pigwot]

Forgive me if I've mentioned these before. The funniest thing I've heard in a tree was one day years ago, my groundie didn't show up, so I begged off the takedown and went off to prune a few maples.
I guess I was busy at work up in one of them, obscured from sight, when the neighbor came home. She was walking to the front door with two bags of groceries when I started absent-mindedly talking to myself. Right then and there she dropped both bags and said, "God? Is that you?" I burst out laughing and she scowled as she gathered up her items and went inside.
Later the homeowner told me that particular couple was very severe with their children and beat them, and she wishes I'd known that and had the presence of mind to not laugh, but to simply say, "Don't beat your children!".

Another time I was up in a tree when the neighborhood boys, playing with a radio-controlled car on the other side of the house, were tormenting a dog that was tied up next door. They would let it get close to the dog and would make the car move away just as the dog lunged at it, choking himself on the collar and chain. I remembered the God situation and in a deep voice said "Freeze, this is God speaking and I'm going to make your peckers fall off if you ever tease another dog in your life!" Of course I couldn't see them on the other side of the house, but enjoyed seeing them all run home, car and controller in their arms.

[Paul B]

HA! good one!

[Tucker943]

"Your price for taking that down includes grinding the stump, right?"

[MasterBlaster]

Welcome to the TreeHouse, Tucker! :beer:

[GASoline71]

I forgot about the guy that wanted me to take out a huge Doug Fir, and was going to save the spar to be milled.

He asked me if I could "Guarantee in writing" that I would not break the spar when I flopped it. :lol::lol:

Gary

[TC3]

Customers always seem to think their trees would make good lumber ($$$), ey Gary ?!?
I've had people ask me how much I think their tree's wood is worth.
"Dead or alive ?" is my response.
When they persist, I give some astronomical # and tell them to contact a mill.

[olyman]

We were working NEAR the street and sometime during the job the local electric company came and replaced a street light. They set out about 20 cones and signs and had two guys with signs doing traffic control.

So after they left, and we were cleaning up, this little snotty self important punk from the city came blazing up the street, whipped right into our work zone (the customer's driveway), hopped out and told me he had 'received a complaint' about OUR traffic control.

I told him it was not us, it was HIS fellow employees. He then started some crap about how he could not see any city employees there so I must be mistaken.
Freaking dildo brain.

I told him to check back with his boss and confirm what I told him. I said that 1. if I blocked the street for ANY PERIOD of time I would have the necessary permits to do so and,
2. He had entered into my work zone without any authorization and should he become injured, I would personally hold him accountable as he was behaving in a manner which is not consistent with the city's safe working practices procedures by entering a work zone without any PPE, or prior authorization.
and 3... that the electric company had staged their trucks ACROSS THE STREET where their was a pull off. NOT WITHIN MY WORK ZONE! and they were very friendly and professional to us.

He again started to backtalk, so I asked him what his job title was, and if his job description included enforcement of local laws. I then informed him of MY personal good connections to our local police, and how I am personal friends with the mayor & city arborist.

The little creep then apologized! He hopped back into his truck and ran away :X

It pisses me off to have some low life city employee attempting to throw his weight around.
I have no doubt that he has harrassed folks in the past and gotten away with it.

frans--what kept your cool??? id already went off!!!! snot faced punk

[TC3]

"Are you guys professionals ?" (said while 2 ton cookie is being lowered between houses & power lines, spoken from the seat of a BMW driving over road cones)
"Where can I buy one of those (insert expensive piece of equipment / specialized tool) so I could do this myself ?"
"Your fertilizing program just made everything grow really quick & made me have to call you again to prune."
"If you moved that tree over to there, do you think it'd do better ?"
"Can you make my trees smaller ?"
"I just don't understand why it died ?" (pointing at tree in an island of asphalt, etc.)
:?

[Al Smith]

I went on a service call one time on a Sunday morning,double time,minimum charge 4 hours.

The problem was a large refridgeration unit in an ice cream factory that would not come off the defrost cycle.Come to find out the maintanence man left it on manual defrost.He tried to talk me out of turning in the time for it and offered to pay my wages.Sorry,says I ,the boss gets paid too.He was a tad put out over his own stupidity,chit happens ya know.

[Chisel Tooth]

I remember going to help Tom with a take down, the guy ask Tom how much he would take off the bill if he let Tom have the wood. Tom chuckled and told the guy he would save X amount if we didn't take the wood.

[sotc]

sometimes i tell them if they load it while were there ill haul it. never had one take me up on it:)

[TC3]

"If I help you, will you price the job lower ?"
"Are the gutters full of leaves ?" (hint hint)
"Do you take cash ?"

[treebogan]

"you sure know alot about trees for someone from New Zealand"
"Whatcha need that rope for?Dontcha know how to climb"
"Whats your New Zealand name?"

[Chisel Tooth]

So what is your New Zealand name? :lol:

[treebogan]

So what is your New Zealand name? :lol:

Its a complex sequence of pops and sqeaks,un-pronouncable to the average westerner:scatter:

[Chisel Tooth]

I believe ya, something only a bushman can understand. ;)

[stehansen]

We're all bushmen at heart.

[Chisel Tooth]

We're all bushmen at heart.

How true!

[GASoline71]

I remember going to help Tom with a take down, the guy ask Tom how much he would take off the bill if he let Tom have the wood. Tom chuckled and told the guy he would save X amount if we didn't take the wood.

I tell them it's like tryin' to sell ice to an Eskimo. :D

Gary

[Chisel Tooth]

I know, I don't recall how many times I have gone and picked up wood, that the people couldn't sell. The think they are going to save money by keeping the wood and selling it. "Oak fire wood for sale" Yeah right, it's green, unsplit, and over priced. I would go and pick it up for free, split it and sell it, I even sold some back to one of the guys once. People are so funny sometimes.

[GASoline71]

Yeah Mike... I've hauled off a little wood here and there and sold it for firewood. Usually around Springtime. However i sell it in rounds... I don't have a hydraulic splitter, and I ain't doin' it by hand unless it's for me.

But it is amazing how almost every removal job I have done I get asked for 2 bids... my "normal" one for leaving the wood, and my "cheaper" one for if I get to keep the wood...

There isn't much difference in the price, if at all. I bid each job as if i am hauling the wood and brush away.

Gary

[Al Smith]

Most folks that do a bunch of tree work are over stocked with firewood any way.A few sell some just as a suppliment to their income in the slow winter months. Not many have the time to fiddle with it if they are busy.

Conversely if a pro tree person lived in a cold climate and had the means they would be money ahead to at least use some wood for heat.Now just how many people get paid,in essence,to cut their own firewood,such a deal is this.8)

[squisher]

You said it Al. I am stocked on firewood. I never give a 'deal' to keep the wood, if someone thinks their wood has value I just recommend they keep it. My price is always more for removing wood.

[CurSedVoyce]

Getting in late on this one... just a few I chuckled at... some more than once.

Lady phone call... I heard you trimmed trees from so and so.. will you trim them in exchange for the fire wood..... ??

Of course there is always will you work for fire wood...
And yes folks we have some up here that do... Beer sometimes also.. LOL

Meeting with client for an estimate.. Tree (ponderosa pine head leaner over house at 80 plus feet tall.... Power drops and lines on 3 sides... Most of the tree will have to be lined over house to back yard. No room for crane or bucket... And I Quote.. "You sure you are going to have to climb it?? Can't you just pull it over.. You have insurance, if you just pull it over and it hits the house right ? (I think they wanted a new house here)" :what:. Did I mention the root ball was raising the foundation here?

"Senior discount ????? " One of my personal favs on a 1 hour job... :roll:

Dead oak hanging over driveway... "how long do you think I have before it just falls in the driveway?" Response... Jeeee any time this year or any year after... here's my card and just call when it does and I will take care of it for you :D

Or this one.... "Are you sure you want to do this?" Meaning leave the ground as I am gearing up on a 30-40 foot tree that is pretty much a walk in the park .. :lol::lol:
Mind you in my head is .. are you sure you want to pay me for the fun I am about to have killing this friggen easy bastage??:lol::lol:

Reads sign on truck "You guys do brushing right ?" :lol:

Responding to ad... "I see here you do chipping. Do you charge extra for that?":lol::lol:

[Paul B]

My retort to the seniors discount is 'nope, we dont discriminate against folks because of their age"

[CurSedVoyce]

My retort to the seniors discount is 'nope, we dont discriminate against folks because of their age"

I love it :D:beerchug::rockon:

[Paul B]

The other one is to ask for their ID then tell them it looks fake and carry on.

[CurSedVoyce]

:lol::lol::lol::lol:
Probably get thanked for checking their ID also .. LMAO

[Paul B]

Just have to ask the ladies and have the cheeky smile on. ;)

[Jamin Mayer]

I had one of those customers watch me on a small removal. 12" DBH notch & flop type... At the end of the job she said, "That machine is amazing! But, where does the tree go?" I was confused to say the least...:what: She was only in her 50's so she wasn't that old...

I asked her, "Didn't you see me put it into the rear end of the chipper?"

She said, "Yeah. But, where does it go once it goes in there?"

OMGosh! I wanted to crack up laughing. :lol: She watched all the details of the work and didn't see the chips flying into the chip truck. I had to bit my tongue and kindly explain it to her.

That was weird.

[Paul B]

aw, you should have told her it was 'magic'. :D

[Stumper]

"It izz a dis-inte-gra-tor."

[OTGBOSTON]

I used to get asked all the time if I was a rockclimber in my time off. To which I would reply "Are you nuts!, I go fishing!"

[Bounce]

Whenever I bid a removal, I always like to ask "out of curiosity, why do you want this tree removed?"

My favorite answers:

I can't sleep when the wind blows
I need the money I'll get from selling this to the mill
Trees are dangerous! (said by a Texan who moved to Washington state because he was tired of the city)
Because it will piss off my neighbors
Because the dang thing talks too much! (really - this guy actually believed the tree was talking to him and he couldn't stand it anymore, so hired me to cut it down)

[MasterBlaster]

You forgot...

I just hate all those leaves!

[arborworks1]

Its always dropping little sticks everywhere, Can never keep the yard neat!:what:

[CurSedVoyce]

Leaves in the pool....
Might fall on my horses...

[Blinky]

"I hate willow oaks because the leaves are too hard to rake."

"I hate sweetgums because the little balls are too hard to rake."

"Just cut it down, the birds sit up there and crap on my car."

[Bounce]

Maybe we should all start offering a paving service to follow up on our tree removals. It sounds like 1/2 our customers are neurotic clean-freaks who would probably appreciate the nice smooth asphalt when it's done.

[Jonseredbred]

Maybe we should all start offering a paving service to follow up on our tree removals. It sounds like 1/2 our customers are neurotic clean-freaks who would probably appreciate the nice smooth asphalt when it's done.

Knock yourself out........................

http://gypoclimber.com/showthread.php?t=11750

[Dave Shepard]

Maybe we should all start offering a paving service to follow up on our tree removals. It sounds like 1/2 our customers are neurotic clean-freaks who would probably appreciate the nice smooth asphalt when it's done.

That was a friend of mines theory as well. When asked in one of his arboriculture classes what to do with an unhealthy tree he said "Cut it down and pave over it!" The instructor didn't think it was so funny.:lol:

[Gord]

Is it bad that I sometimes pretend I don't see old dudes hanging out near the chipper, looking like they got something to say, unless they're really patient? I love shutting the chipper down just to have this old guy ask "Big job eh?"

Yup it is, now back to work.

I was removing a leaning fir over this beach cottage last week and the clients where watching from the deck. I was sitting for a minute to let the ground crew catch up and the husband shouts up "I always thought your job must be tough but I guess it's actually really easy!"
I suppose I need to make it look more difficult...?

I had a guy move some cones I set on the sidewalk to push his baby carriage through, with baby in it. I noticed him just before he got to the chipper, 250xp flat out, and kind of lost it, branches were being dropped on the walk, told him "Get out, didja think the cones were for cars you moron."

[Paul B]

Gord, I hear you, safety stuff shouldnt be compromised, if it was me and my baby buggy, I wouldnt be offended to have gotten an earful about impeding on the safe work zone. some folks just seem oblivious to real life.